Ring a Ding Ding

We, as women, have all been there. The pesky man that just doesn't get the numerous, subtle, then not so subtle "hints" that you are simply not interested. You know the type: A touch of Creepster with a dash of pure Yuck tossed in for good measure. He’s dressed like he doesn't own a mirror... nor a shower for that matter. Bad teeth and not to mention, the breath. There is no escape. 

But actually Dear Readers there is: my tried-and-true classic ripcord move. It's quite simple and most importantly, hilarious. It allows us to extricate ourselves from the aforementioned type that just won't leave you alone. It works in all situations and encounters you may find yourself in with The Creepster. Be it a bar, restaurant, party, the grocery store, a chairlift, or even simply walking down the street— launch my no fail maneuver the next time a Creepster harangs you for your number so they "can take you out". 

Smile politely, tell him that would be such fun and that you are looking forward to hearing from him, and then give him your ex boyfriend's number. However, there is one strict rule: you MUST, under all circumstances, maintain a straight face while giving The Creepster the number. In fact, if you are a bit like me, you will have numerous options of ex's contact info at the ready, so take your pick. Personally, I like to mix it up in terms of which ex will be the next victim of a call from The Creepster, only to have a male voice answer and ask for me. 

If only we could be there to see the faces on both sides of the line when the call arrives. Priceless. 

Respectfully submitted,

The Author